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LYL Season 3, Ep. 3 – My Life Is Not What It Should Be – How to Forget, Forgive, or Face Your Past to Pursue Your Future

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When I was in college my best friend did something that I would never forget.

This was the fall of 2005 and I was a strapping young buck living like the King of Persia. (Is the King Persia still a thing? In 2005 it was. Deal with it). This was a time before anyone knew that a hashtag was not the number sign…much less #BlameObama. It was truly a glorious time. 

Unfortunately my friend decided he wanted to ruin my great year. He stabbed me in the back. He wronged me in the worst possible way. He honestly broke my heart. 

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It festered on my soul for years. How could someone I love hurt me so bad? How could he treat me like dirt? 

His actions began to control my life.

His actions affected my self-esteem. I blamed him for my shortcomings. I let him start to take ownership of my actions. 

I needed to make a change… I couldn’t let him be in control. I needed to forgive him so I could take ownership of my life. 

It was about that time (wonderful 2005 when “Hollaback Girl topped the charts) that I got some sage advice from a close mentor. He sat me down, listened to my story and told me words I would never forget:

You can choose to face your friend, forget his wrongdoings, or forgive his actions. It is your responsibility to make things right.

This made absolutely no sense in my mind. He needed to make things right. He needed to approach me. My mentor told me that if I wanted to control my life I needed to make the change I wanted to see in my life. Forgive, Forget, Face has become a foundational step in my personal growth, and it has made me into the man I am today. 

1. Forgive – These are for items in which forgiveness is necessary. Much is written about forgiveness by people both smarter and wiser than this writer. Suffice it to say, that forgiveness is the most powerful asset in this exercise. Who has wronged you? They may be gone from this world. Look at the list and forgive them. It is time. 

2. Forget – There are some items on your list in which no one is directly responsible, they just happened. We have the choice to allow situations to bind us to our current state, or realize they are what they are and move on. Simple as that. It is time to stop wishing, start forgetting, and get to living your list.  

3. Face – Most of the things in life we wish were different lie within our control. We have more power over our circumstances than we let on. You may need to face a fear, or tackle a bad habit, or change a physical tendency. Whatever it is face it today.   

(If you haven’t taken the Live Your List Assessment, it isn’t too late. Story continued below.)

Twitter assessment

 

What now? Take the Inventory & Make a List

One way to take take ownership of your life is to list everything that is not quite right about your life. Everything. Things that are terrible. Things you wish were different. Things that have gone horribly wrong. Write down accidents and accusations, insults and injuries, regrets and wrongful acts.

Download the inventory below and post your thoughts on the Live Your List Facebook group. Continue to be awesome. Repeat.

Live Your List Forgive, Forget, Face

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Nick Collison Pick of the Day

1. The Mended Heart: God’s Healing for Your Broken Places by T. Suzanne Eller. -Popular author and speaker shows women how to embrace the powerful truth that Jesus has already completed the work that must be done to heal their brokenness, encouraging them to trust him, to give and receive grace, and to move ahead even stronger than before.

Fired Up Quotes

“Resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” – Unknown (Tweet That)

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